Friday, October 24, 2008

Back to work

Today is my last day of maternity leave. I never quite imagined this day, what I would do with my time or how I would feel. Actually that's not true. As much as I love my job, I knew I would never want this day to arrive. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a stay at home mom. My mom was one; it's what I know.

Countless people have literally stopped me in the street to tell me to cherish each moment because it goes so fast. Somehow it didn't resonate. Then all of a sudden here I am. It went SO fast.

The Babe will be attending daycare. This is not something I ever imagined I'd do either. We contemplated hiring a nanny but I wanted to be able to work from home, and if you've been reading this blog at all you can only imagine how impossible it would be to get anything done with the Babe and a nanny hanging out in my makeshift office.

I went to the Babe's daycare today to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for his first day. His teachers are delightful. His playroom cheerful. His crib already waiting for him. I still cried the whole walk home.

I realized my sadness is not from fear or worry - he will be well cared for. I'm simply nostalgic. I want those first few weeks back when it was all new, scary, overwhelming and exhilarating. I wish I was sitting in the cab on our first ride home from the hospital when he was so small he wobbled around in his car seat. The special outfit we bought him to come home in was actually loose. It seems like an eternity ago.

Just another lesson in why it's so important to live in the moment and relish the small things I guess. So with that, I'm signing off to enjoy a few quiet moments with the Babe on our last precious day together.


A to the K said...

I love you, friend. You are such a good mama. I will be praying for you!

Tracey Clem said...

Hey girl, I want to hear about how daycare goes. I know exactly what you mean about it going SO ridiculously fast.

Hang in there...we'll be praying!